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Oud 16 March 2009, 18:01   #931
anoniem31485
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Oud 19 March 2009, 16:08   #932
anoniem31387
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Lol
<10>
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Oud 19 March 2009, 18:35   #933
anoniem31485
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De crisis...






Laatst gewijzigd door erix : 19 March 2009 om 18:57
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Oud 4 April 2009, 11:20   #934
anoniem31387
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Smile



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Oud 9 April 2009, 16:53   #935
anoniem13863
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Een man komt bij het Arbeidsbureau te Nijmegen en ziet daar een kaart waarop een assistent voor een Gynacoloog wordt gevraagd.
Hij is geïnteresseerd en wil meer weten.
"Kun je me meer details geven over deze vacature?" vraagt hij aan de man achter de balie.

De medewerker van het Arbeidsbureau zoekt in zijn dossiers en
antwoord: "Uuuh... even kijken, hier is het. OK, het werk bestaat eruit patiënten gereed te maken voor onderzoek door de gynacoloog. Dat houdt in: helpen met uitkleden, op de rug leggen en even wassen. Dan scheerschuim aanbrengen, het schaamhaar afscheren en alles even inwrijven met verzachtende olie. zodat ze gereed zijn voor de gynacoloog.

Het jaarsalaris is € 60.000, maar ik ben bang dat u naar Groningen
zult moeten."

"Oh, is daar de vacature?"


"Nee, die is in Nijmegen maar in Groningen kunt u aansluiten aan de rij!"
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Oud 17 April 2009, 13:20   #936
anoniem18126
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Boer brengt vriendin thuis
sized_ScreenShot005.JPG
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Oud 17 April 2009, 13:38   #937
anoniem13802
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hij heeft in ieder geval z'n laarzen aan .
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Oud 18 April 2009, 20:44   #938
anoniem31485
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hahahahaha
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Oud 1 May 2009, 01:20   #939
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These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual

responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour

__________________________________________________

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the

plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in

Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and HerveyBay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe ..
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come

naked.

(in 2 delen wegens teveel tekens)

Laatst gewijzigd door Anacho : 1 May 2009 om 01:22
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Oud 1 May 2009, 01:20   #940
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the

rest of the directions.

_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ....
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross,

straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

____________________________ ______________________

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.

__________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (

USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a

kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat

the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

__________________________________________________

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I

can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

__________________________________________________

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than

the male popula tion? ( Italy )

A: Yes, gay night clubs.

__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.

__________________________________________________

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was

staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..

__________________________________________________


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
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